In today’s rapidly shifting social structure, traditional educational approaches are fading. Across much of the world, madrasas, mosques, and religious circles are losing their roles in shaping children’s development. Consequently, the family’s role in cultivating children’s cognitive abilities and worldviews has never been more crucial.
Being the child’s first school, the family is a sanctified space where Islamic morality and identity are nurtured. But as the lines between conventional educational structures blur, one must ask: how can the family maintain this vital role? How can it safeguard its influence in an age dominated by the disruptive forces of digital technology and the ideological distortions of modernism?
Family The Cornerstone of Education and Character Building
Developmental psychology and educational science consistently affirm that the first five to six years of a child’s life are crucial in shaping their character. During this formative period, traits such as the child’s strengths and weaknesses, tendencies toward proactivity or passivity, and approach to structure versus chaos are established.
The mother plays a central role in this process as the primary caregiver, but the father’s contribution is equally significant. However, true developmental collaboration between parents is essential for a child’s optimal growth. A nurturing, secure environment—peaceful and stable—is the foundation for raising a healthy child. This is why spouses must choose each other with care and share a unified vision for life. A misstep in this decision does not only affect the couple but can have lasting repercussions on the children’s personalities, thoughts, and future paths.
Emotional Stability: The Foundation of a Solid Personality
A child’s emotional stability is key to developing a strong personality. The roots of psychological issues are often planted in the first five years, with the foundation of one’s character formed by age eighteen. Throughout this critical period, parental attitudes play a decisive role.
Children require more than just physical care—they need emotional and mental nourishment as well. Love and affection are as essential as food. A mother must not only care for her child’s physical needs but also nurture their spirit. Without this, children grow up feeling incomplete and insecure.
For instance, a child who receives adequate attention and appreciation from their family grows with healthy self-awareness and a positive self-image. Conversely, neglecting these psychological needs, under the mistaken belief that “children don’t understand,” can lead to deep-seated issues later in life.
In today’s world, many parents fail to recognise the significance of this stage. They leave their children at nurseries and offer them mobile phones as a substitute for emotional connection. When deprived of emotional warmth, the bond between mother and child weakens, creating lasting gaps in the child’s personality. The result is a generation increasingly shaped by digital addiction—apathetic, disconnected, and lacking in self-confidence.
The Effect of Media and Social Networks in the Digital Age
During childhood, the brain exhibits remarkable plasticity. It forms permanent structures based on the visual and intellectual stimuli it receives. Here, the media serves as a powerful force in shaping a child’s thoughts and beliefs.
Sadly, today’s Western-centric media often promotes cultural norms in compelling formats, seeping into the subconscious. In this context, the family is crucial in shielding children from this cultural onslaught. Thus, screen time should be carefully monitored, and children should be guided toward alternative, enriching activities. This ensures protection from harmful content while fostering healthy personality development.
How should Islamic upbringing be?
The adage “prevention is better than cure” is particularly evident in child-rearing. Raising a spiritually, morally, and physically healthy generation requires consistent effort and care from the cradle to the grave. For a Muslim family, the best guide in this process is the educational approach in the sunnah of our beloved Prophet. His model offers timeless wisdom on how to nurture a child’s character and faith. So, what are the key principles of this Sunnatic education system?
1. Instilling Beliefs and Values
The foundation of any educational process lies in the implantation of core values and beliefs. Solid faith and unwavering ethical principles provide children with the tools to understand life comprehensively and meaningfully.
This process begins by guiding children through the fundamental existential questions: “Who am I? What is the purpose of my existence? What is my role in this world?” These inquiries should be addressed gradually, aligning with the child’s age and cognitive ability. As exemplified by the Companions, the Prophet Muhammad prioritised faith before knowledge. Abdullah b. Jundub recounts, “We were young people with the Prophet, and we learnt faith before we learned the Qur’an. Then, we learnt the Qur’an, and our faith grew.”
2. Developing Areas of Interest
The Prophet emphasised the importance of young people acquiring valuable skills per their abilities. While he promoted universal essential skills like reading and writing, he particularly instructed Zayd b. Thabit to learn a foreign language (Hebrew) at a young age. He would later appoint him as one of the scribes of revelation at just 13 years old.
Moreover, the Prophet instilled a sense of community and responsibility in the youth, urging them to care about the affairs of the Muslim ummah. He was reported to have said, “Whoever does not feel any concern for the affairs of Muslims is no longer one of them.”
3. Skills Development
Practical and life skills are essential for success, and they enable children to integrate well into society. The Prophet placed importance on leadership and management abilities in young people. For instance, he appointed Usama b. Zayd as the commander of an army at a young age. He entrusted Zayd b. Thabit with the role of an interpreter. He also encouraged youth to learn commerce as demonstrated in the story of ‘Urwa al-Bārqī.
Furthermore, the Prophet nurtured social and communication skills by training his companions in dialogue and invitation. When sending Muaz b. Jabal to invite people to Islam, he advised: “You are going to a people of the People of the Book. Invite them to testify that there is no true god but Allah and that I am His Messenger.”
His guidance encompassed everything from planning and time management to fostering continuous learning and research, as seen in his advice to Ibn Abbas.
4. Good Communication
Raising a child to be an active and engaged member of society requires effective communication skills. This principle is beautifully demonstrated in the Sunnah. The Prophet nurtured Anas b. Malik with exemplary morals from a young age. Anas recounts, “I served the Messenger of Allah for ten years, and he never once said to me, ‘Ouch!’” This example shows how the Prophet modelled positive communication traits—such as patience, tolerance, respect for others, and graceful behaviour—even in challenging circumstances.
5. Choosing Friends
The Prophet also offered valuable guidance to young people regarding the importance of choosing good friends. He said, “A person is on the religion of his friend. So let each one of you be careful with whom he makes friendship.” Pointing to the impact of friendship on one’s life, he made an analogy: “A good friend and a bad friend are like one who carries musk and one who blows bellows. The one who carries musk either offers it to you, or you buy it from him, or you smell a good fragrance from him. The one who blows the bellows either burns your clothes, or you smell a bad odour from it.”
6. Positive Role Models
Positive role models are among the most powerful educational tools. In the early stages of life, children imitate their parents, and as they grow, they begin to look up to figures in their wider world. With the rise of fictional characters and media personalities, it is crucial to provide children with strong role models from the stories of prophets, scholars, and religious figures. This approach strengthens a child’s moral foundation and encourages the adoption of positive behaviours.
The Prophet taught his young Companions through stories and real-life examples. By recounting the lives of previous prophets and righteous individuals, he instilled in them noble values and good morals.
Allah says, “And certainly in the Messenger of Allah is a good example for you, for those who hope in Allah and the Last Day and remember Allah much” (Surat al-Ahzab, 33:21). Role modelling, both through words and deeds, remains one of the most lasting and impactful ways to educate young minds.
Conclusion
Parents’ educational role is paramount, especially in a world rife with contradictions that often leave even adults bewildered. For comprehensive progress, individually and collectively, we must adhere to the sunnah of education. In this journey, it is essential that children are not only armed with academic knowledge but also imbued with moral values, problem-solving skills, and social capabilities. By nurturing both the mind and the heart, we can ensure that future generations are equipped to navigate the complexities of the world with wisdom, integrity, and compassion.
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